YOUR GUIDE TO A HUNG PARLIAMENT PART 4: SHOULD IT BE CALLED A HANGED PARLIAMENT?
The Thun - The Times spoof

Theresa May Asks JK Rowling For Magic Spell

Theresa May has approached Harry Potter, the wizard, author JK Rowling for a magic spell to help her, it has been revealed.

The spell was requested before the worst week so far in the prime minister's administration.

It is not clear if the spell was given to the desperate prime minister a week ago and she mucked it all up.

It is not known if Theresa May is any good with a wand, but her husband looks like Harry Potter.

Theresa May and husband

The wand continues.

(Video sponsored by linksdump.com)

Correction: In yesterday's story: Theresa May trips and spills hot boiling water over grieving widow it seems there was an error: Brexit in fact means Brexit. We are happy to set the record straight.

TEN NAUGHTY THINGS THERESA MAY SHOULD HAVE SAID OTHER THAN RUNNING IN WHEAT FIELDS AS A CHILD
Daily Excrement - Daily Express

Son Of Farmer Of Wheat Field In Which Theresa May Ran As Child Is 'Still Furious'

"Dad always said some pesky kids were running through the wheat fields and we never knew who they were until the prime minister admitted to it on the telly during the election," said the eldest son of the farmer of the field through which the prime minister ran as a child. "I've asked my lawyers to look into it and the prime minister should expect a lawsuit within the week."

This brings to 18 the number of things the prime minister has done over the last six weeks that could lead to her downfall, a record.

The wheat continues.

(Video found on linksdump.com)

Also In Today's Paper:

The Hiking Path Theresa May Decided To Call Snap 2017 Election On To Get Some Kind Of Plaque Or Something

Gary Glitter Now More Popular Than Theresa May, Says Survey

Theresa May Looks To Downing Street Cat For Solace, Says Insider

ARE YOU A SOFT BREXIT OR A SOFTER BREXIT? TAKE OUR QUIZ
Daily Mail

Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir,

Isn't it a treat to have a female prime minister and a female leader of the party in coalition with her government? I know they are not in coalition, it's called a something and supply something, but never the less. As Helen Reddy once crooned: "I am woman hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore." Helen Reddy summed it up perfectly, even though there are only two of them.

Yours, Mrs Borfield, 92

Dear Sir,

Further to my letter of last week, in which I said that I hoped that my woe would not continue after confronting Jedi Knight Jeremy "Obi-Wan" Corbyn over the election. Well, it's gotten worse. I'm at my wits end and I've got a busy week ahead. I'll give a prize to anybody who comes up with the best idea what I should do next.

Yours, Theresa 'Darth' Maybot

(Video sponsored by linksdump.com)

Dear Sir,

This hot weather caught me by surprise. My beach body isn't due to be ready until August. Help!

Yours, Brenda Cobblestone