ARTICLE 50 BILL PASSES OUT IN HOUSE OF COMMONS
Daily Armstretchograph

Sean Spicer In Podium Meltdown On Live TV, According To Foreign Newspaper

Sean Spicer the White House Press Officer completely broke down in front of the press today, lifted up the podium he was standing on and walked around like a Dalek shouting 'Exterminate! Exterminate!', according to a Latin American newspaper today.

Sean Spicer (Melissa McCarthy)

The article, which included a picture of Sean Spicer, above, was printed in the newspaper.

A spokesman for Sean Spicer told this newspaper: "That is a picture of Melissa McCarthy playing me. This is me. It's another example of the fake news that is sweeping the country. And I don't eat chewing gum like that, it's sick."

The Big Long Trump continues.

(Video sponsored by linksdump.com)

Correction: In yesterday's story: Alec Baldwin Interviewed By Latin American Newspaper As Donald Trump it seems there was an error: The Ivanka Trump Collection shoes and matching earrings were $569.99, we are happy to set the record straight.

DONALD TRUMP POSTPONES TRIP TO UK WHEN PARLIAMENT IS CLOSED TO AVOID EMBARASMENT
Daily Moan

Channel 4's The Jump To Feature All Donald Trump Impersonators

Channel 4 think they are onto a winner after having signed up 10 Donald Trump impersonators to take part in their accident strewn show this year.

The Jump, renamed The Trump Jump for this series, sees celebrities jump on skis in between the sounds of snapping legs. It is set to start at the end of the month.

A media expert told this newspaper: "Seeing a line of Donald Trumps jumping on skis is something to behold. Watching him, or her, break a leg is just the icing on the orange skinned cake."

The Jump, which is now officially more dangerous than fighting in wars, has a new series of safety procedures in place to stop people dying, according to an insider.

The Trumping continues.

(Video sponsored by linksdump.com)

Also In Today's Paper:

Theresa May: Cruella De Ville Comparisons 'Unfair'

Donald Trump: Orange Fruit Cake Comparisons 'Unfair'

Angela Merkel: 'I'm much taller than I look'

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE PRODUCER IN DONALD TRUMP GAFFE
Daily Mail

Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir,

Am I the only one to think that it is such a shame when stars on The Jump pull out when they have broken their leg? When I was a boy we used to ski in neck braces and plastered legs. Today's youth are such wimps.

Yours, Johnny Gorgeous, 98

Dear Sir,

I've just finished my Article 50 costume for 31st March. I'm going to be a large Big Ben with a bluebird (from White Cliffs of Dover fame) as a hat. How appropriate?

Yours, Catty Hopkins

(Video sponsored by linksdump.com)

Dear Sir,

Triggering Article 50 on 1st of April would show Britain open for business with a cheeky wink. I say let's do it then. Let's start this thing off as we mean to go on.

Yours, John Smith