Order Your Netherlands World Cup Fightball™ DVD Today

The Netherlands are to release their own Fightball™ dvd in celebration of their unique style of football which almost won them the World Cup at the weekend.

The DVD, which will show players how to karate kick to the chest, tackle from behind and to angle an orange shirt you are wearing just right so that it temporarily blinds the ref to a miscellany of misdeeds, will go on sale at the beginning of next month.

Fightball™, which also goes under the names of cageball or ultimate football, is a fusion of unarmed hooliganism and football.

No holds barred football has been popular in the Netherlands for a number of years.

Paul The Octopus Retires, Chews Mussel In A Way That Unmistakenly Indicates To FIFA That They Should Embrace Technology Immediately

Paul The Psychic Octopus used his final choosing-of-a-box-with-a-mussel-in-it to leave a message to FIFA that they must adopt goal line and other technology immediately.

Paul showed his preference for technology to be introduced by eating a mussel in a box with a picture of King Of Technology Ubergeek Bill Gates on the outside. (The other box had a picture of a cheese sandwich on it.)

A spokesman for FIFA told this newspaper:

"Paul probably doesn't even know what a football is let alone what it feels like to be kicked with one hard in the nuts for being a wise arse, and octopuses have 8 nuts I read on the internet somewhere. Food for thought is all I'm saying."

But Paul was adamant he was right and refused to leave his Bill Gates box for a full 20 minutes after eating the mussel, a record.

Phew, South Africa Didn't Muck The World Cup Up As Much As We Expected They Would, But It Was Close

In spite of some spectators not getting away from the grounds for a good five hours after the matches ended...

... security being farcical (they let people in even though the alarms beeped)...

... and there were countless numbers of empty seats all over the place...

... it was a good World Cup...

... if you ignore the dirty bastard Dutch in the final ...

... the disallowed England-Germany goal that was clearly in (are you blind ref?)...

... and that game where some goalie stood holding the ball behind the goal line and the goal wasn't given...

Yeah, not bad Africa, it could have been a whole lot worse...

Now, sort that Mugabe chappie out if you really want to be taken seriously.